1 00:00:00,961 --> 00:00:02,406 - previously on Hot in cleveland... 2 00:00:02,429 --> 00:00:04,130 - but this is My first trip to l.A., 3 00:00:04,153 --> 00:00:06,782 And this is robert redford's Favorite restaurant. 4 00:00:06,805 --> 00:00:08,122 - please! 5 00:00:08,145 --> 00:00:10,421 You seriously expect me to Believe you have an evil twin? 6 00:00:10,444 --> 00:00:12,305 - a dim figure Hovers above you. 7 00:00:12,328 --> 00:00:15,019 You wake up horrified And realize... 8 00:00:17,214 --> 00:00:18,212 - I have to go. 9 00:00:18,235 --> 00:00:20,288 Maybe we can talk Some more later? 10 00:00:20,311 --> 00:00:21,246 - you can count on it. 11 00:00:21,269 --> 00:00:23,353 - oh, elka, I think I blew the sale! 12 00:00:23,376 --> 00:00:24,535 - who cares? 13 00:00:24,559 --> 00:00:26,930 I found out Where robert redford is. 14 00:00:26,954 --> 00:00:28,112 - hide me. 15 00:00:28,135 --> 00:00:29,895 I think I killed Susan lucci. 16 00:00:31,744 --> 00:00:33,957 - I'm scared. We shouldn't be doing this. 17 00:00:33,980 --> 00:00:36,127 - stop whining, there's nothing To be afraid of. 18 00:00:37,491 --> 00:00:39,288 - hey, dead guy. 19 00:00:39,311 --> 00:00:41,907 Is this The robert redford movie? 20 00:00:41,930 --> 00:00:44,462 - I wish, lady. Try stage 19. 21 00:00:45,443 --> 00:00:47,368 - oh, excuse us, So sorry, 22 00:00:47,390 --> 00:00:48,964 But I love These crime show dramas. 23 00:00:48,987 --> 00:00:51,231 Hey, Check out my david caruso. 24 00:00:51,254 --> 00:00:56,373 It looks like these crashers... Have wrecked the scene. 25 00:00:56,396 --> 00:00:58,544 Oh, wait, wait. I got another One, I got another one. 26 00:00:58,567 --> 00:01:01,928 Let me see... It looks like this set... 27 00:01:01,951 --> 00:01:03,303 Has met its match. 28 00:01:05,369 --> 00:01:08,156 - what is wrong with you? 29 00:01:08,179 --> 00:01:09,274 - it's the who. 30 00:01:09,297 --> 00:01:11,732 it's the theme song To c.S.I. Miami. 31 00:01:11,756 --> 00:01:13,937 - sorry about my friend. 32 00:01:13,960 --> 00:01:17,182 She's... Lost her mind. 33 00:01:29,446 --> 00:01:32,201 - morning, ms. Lucci. How are you feeling? 34 00:01:32,225 --> 00:01:34,277 - oh, much better, Thank you. 35 00:01:34,300 --> 00:01:36,641 - oh, the newspapers Are filled with stories 36 00:01:36,664 --> 00:01:40,696 About that crazy victoria chase Attacking you. 37 00:01:40,719 --> 00:01:46,028 And the tabloids Are claiming you're dead. 38 00:01:46,051 --> 00:01:48,169 - well, if I am, I'm in heaven. 39 00:01:48,191 --> 00:01:51,329 They used that hideous old photo Of victoria's thighs 40 00:01:51,352 --> 00:01:53,692 In a bathing suit. 41 00:01:53,715 --> 00:01:54,906 - cottage cheese? 42 00:01:54,929 --> 00:01:57,716 - large curd. 43 00:01:57,739 --> 00:02:02,186 Oh, thank you, no. I'm too happy to eat. 44 00:02:02,209 --> 00:02:05,124 - oh, ms. Chase has been Waiting outside all morning 45 00:02:05,147 --> 00:02:06,146 To see you. 46 00:02:06,169 --> 00:02:07,935 She's very upset About the accident. 47 00:02:07,957 --> 00:02:09,404 - you didn't tell her I was all right, did you? 48 00:02:09,427 --> 00:02:10,807 - oh, no, no! 49 00:02:10,831 --> 00:02:13,012 We told her the same thing We told the press: 50 00:02:13,035 --> 00:02:14,639 "We're not releasing Any information 51 00:02:14,663 --> 00:02:17,068 About ms. Lucci's condition At this time." 52 00:02:17,091 --> 00:02:20,771 - good. All right, then. Please, send her in. 53 00:02:20,795 --> 00:02:21,985 - okay. 54 00:02:22,008 --> 00:02:24,219 - but first, just for fun... 55 00:02:24,242 --> 00:02:28,787 Let's pretend I'm in a coma. 56 00:02:28,810 --> 00:02:30,192 - a coma? 57 00:02:30,215 --> 00:02:32,650 - yes, victoria and I just adore Playing little tricks 58 00:02:32,673 --> 00:02:33,768 On each other. 59 00:02:33,791 --> 00:02:36,961 I sent her birth certificate To wikileaks... 60 00:02:36,985 --> 00:02:41,134 And she heckled my speech During the tourette's benefit... 61 00:02:44,042 --> 00:02:46,690 Luckily, Nobody noticed. 62 00:02:47,938 --> 00:02:49,607 Trust me, She'll love it. 63 00:02:49,630 --> 00:02:52,704 - this is so exciting! 64 00:02:52,727 --> 00:02:55,514 No one does a coma Better than you! 65 00:02:55,538 --> 00:02:57,739 - you're sweet. 66 00:03:02,116 --> 00:03:04,329 - this is horrible. They don't mention 67 00:03:04,352 --> 00:03:06,819 My new boyfriend Michael knight at all. 68 00:03:06,842 --> 00:03:10,235 Just "Fellow cast members Are praying for a miracle." 69 00:03:10,259 --> 00:03:12,822 - can we please focus On the real tragedy here? 70 00:03:12,845 --> 00:03:16,590 This pattern on my thighs Is not cellulite! 71 00:03:16,613 --> 00:03:20,262 Clearly I'd just gotten up From a wicker chair. 72 00:03:20,286 --> 00:03:22,658 - shouldn't you be a little more Concerned about susan? 73 00:03:22,681 --> 00:03:24,893 - oh, she's just faking For attention. 74 00:03:24,916 --> 00:03:26,202 I mean, If she were really hurt, 75 00:03:26,224 --> 00:03:28,245 There'd be a million cameras Outside the hospital... 76 00:03:28,268 --> 00:03:31,599 Which I dressed for. 77 00:03:31,621 --> 00:03:33,866 - my new boyfriend, Michael knight, 78 00:03:33,888 --> 00:03:37,410 Was so grief-stricken Last night about susan, 79 00:03:37,434 --> 00:03:40,603 He asked me to leave Right after we had sex. 80 00:03:40,626 --> 00:03:42,584 He didn't want me To see him cry. 81 00:03:42,606 --> 00:03:45,234 So sensitive! 82 00:03:45,257 --> 00:03:47,980 And he's much better in bed Than his brother was. 83 00:03:48,003 --> 00:03:49,927 Although when they say "Identical twins," 84 00:03:49,950 --> 00:03:52,440 Trust me, They're not kidding. 85 00:03:53,528 --> 00:03:54,622 - ms. Chase? 86 00:03:54,645 --> 00:03:56,219 - yes, nurse, Is there any news? 87 00:03:56,242 --> 00:03:59,029 Or any news crews? 88 00:03:59,051 --> 00:04:01,616 - I'm afraid ms. Lucci's Still in a coma. 89 00:04:01,639 --> 00:04:03,053 - a coma? 90 00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:04,798 - yay! 91 00:04:05,822 --> 00:04:07,427 Oh, no, not "Yay!" 92 00:04:07,451 --> 00:04:09,918 About susan, Obviously that's tragic. 93 00:04:09,940 --> 00:04:12,313 My new boyfriend Michael knight just texted 94 00:04:12,336 --> 00:04:13,942 That he wants to take me To dinner in malibu 95 00:04:13,965 --> 00:04:17,039 In his brand-new ferrari! 96 00:04:17,062 --> 00:04:18,764 Which of course Doesn't make this moment 97 00:04:18,787 --> 00:04:21,063 Any less poignant. 98 00:04:21,085 --> 00:04:22,883 - a coma? Really? 99 00:04:22,906 --> 00:04:25,406 - oh, my god! 100 00:04:25,429 --> 00:04:28,152 We're having sushi at nobu! 101 00:04:28,175 --> 00:04:30,355 - could I possibly see her? 102 00:04:30,378 --> 00:04:32,080 - okay, But just for a moment. 103 00:04:32,103 --> 00:04:33,697 - right. 104 00:04:36,254 --> 00:04:39,391 - fyi, your new boyfriend Michael knight 105 00:04:39,415 --> 00:04:42,043 Slept with my best friend, Made her all these promises, 106 00:04:42,066 --> 00:04:43,096 And never called. 107 00:04:43,119 --> 00:04:45,332 - what? Oh, no, wait! 108 00:04:45,355 --> 00:04:47,217 Is she sure it was michael? 109 00:04:47,239 --> 00:04:48,430 Because his Twin brother alex 110 00:04:48,452 --> 00:04:51,080 Pulled exactly the same trick On me once. 111 00:04:51,103 --> 00:04:56,476 - his twin brother alex? Seriously? 112 00:04:56,500 --> 00:04:58,456 Oh, you don't watch The show, do you? 113 00:04:58,479 --> 00:05:01,842 - well, not every day. Why? 114 00:05:01,864 --> 00:05:06,025 - michael's character Had an evil twin brother alex 115 00:05:06,047 --> 00:05:09,600 Who impersonated him. 116 00:05:09,623 --> 00:05:11,283 - what? 117 00:05:21,311 --> 00:05:23,333 - susan... 118 00:05:23,356 --> 00:05:27,409 I know you can't speak, But I pray you can hear me. 119 00:05:29,455 --> 00:05:30,997 Seeing you In this miserable state, 120 00:05:31,020 --> 00:05:33,072 I can't help but... 121 00:05:33,095 --> 00:05:35,625 What am I doing? 122 00:05:35,648 --> 00:05:37,127 Am I really so shallow 123 00:05:37,150 --> 00:05:39,266 That I can only quote words Written by people 124 00:05:39,289 --> 00:05:42,576 Not pretty enough To be in front of the camera? 125 00:05:44,814 --> 00:05:47,250 All right, The truth is, 126 00:05:47,273 --> 00:05:51,497 Seeing you here In this heartbreaking, yet... 127 00:05:51,520 --> 00:05:55,904 Oddly well-groomed state... 128 00:05:55,926 --> 00:06:00,055 I am honestly sorry for... Well, for so many things. 129 00:06:00,078 --> 00:06:03,791 For the venomous digs And the backhanded compliments. 130 00:06:03,814 --> 00:06:07,431 For resenting your successes And reveling in your defeats. 131 00:06:07,454 --> 00:06:10,880 For rubbing that strawberry On your prop kleenex 132 00:06:10,902 --> 00:06:12,094 So that your perfect Little face 133 00:06:12,116 --> 00:06:15,499 Would blow up Like a beach ball. 134 00:06:21,313 --> 00:06:23,973 Oh, god, I have been such a fool. 135 00:06:23,996 --> 00:06:26,463 Why did we always let Petty jealousy 136 00:06:26,486 --> 00:06:29,337 Blind us to what was Really important? 137 00:06:29,360 --> 00:06:33,042 I mean, if the heavens can hold A thousand brilliant stars, 138 00:06:33,065 --> 00:06:37,640 Then surely there's room enough For both of our lights to shine. 139 00:06:37,663 --> 00:06:39,684 If I had known that sooner, 140 00:06:39,707 --> 00:06:43,164 Then perhaps I wouldn't have Made an enemy of someone 141 00:06:43,187 --> 00:06:46,314 Who might otherwise have been A dear, dear friend. 142 00:06:58,387 --> 00:07:01,238 - oh, thank god. The couple made up. 143 00:07:01,261 --> 00:07:03,249 My house sale's back on. 144 00:07:03,272 --> 00:07:05,069 This is a really big studio. 145 00:07:05,093 --> 00:07:07,306 How in the world are we ever Going to find robert redford? 146 00:07:07,328 --> 00:07:08,901 - let's ask This hollywood fairy. 147 00:07:08,925 --> 00:07:10,979 - elka! 148 00:07:11,001 --> 00:07:12,191 I'm sorry, She's from a different era. 149 00:07:12,214 --> 00:07:13,883 - I'm not talking about him! 150 00:07:13,906 --> 00:07:16,332 I'm talking about her. 151 00:07:18,314 --> 00:07:19,696 Have you seen Robert redford? 152 00:07:19,719 --> 00:07:21,611 - we heard he was Doing his movie here. 153 00:07:21,634 --> 00:07:23,878 - see that line of extras Over there getting wardrobe? 154 00:07:23,901 --> 00:07:25,187 That's for his movie. 155 00:07:25,210 --> 00:07:27,614 - that's it! We could be extras! 156 00:07:27,637 --> 00:07:28,860 - no. Absolutely not. 157 00:07:28,883 --> 00:07:30,872 There are rules, There are unions. 158 00:07:30,895 --> 00:07:32,980 You can't just walk Onto a movie set. 159 00:07:33,003 --> 00:07:34,640 - oh, you're probably right. 160 00:07:34,663 --> 00:07:38,152 I just thought, After my trial, 161 00:07:38,175 --> 00:07:40,356 When I'm in that cold, Dark cell... 162 00:07:40,379 --> 00:07:41,825 - you are not Going to guilt me into this. 163 00:07:41,848 --> 00:07:44,443 - my spirits could soar On the wings of a memory. 164 00:07:44,466 --> 00:07:46,902 - stop it! - the memory of meeting 165 00:07:46,926 --> 00:07:50,350 And getting the tiniest bit Handsy with robert... 166 00:07:50,374 --> 00:07:53,034 - oh-kay, fine. All right. 167 00:07:53,056 --> 00:07:55,332 - all right. We can Catch a ride with this fruit. 168 00:07:55,355 --> 00:07:56,674 - oh, wait a minute. When I turn around, 169 00:07:56,697 --> 00:07:58,687 I better see a man Dressed like a banana. 170 00:08:01,711 --> 00:08:03,305 Close enough. 171 00:08:06,948 --> 00:08:08,233 - oh, no. 172 00:08:08,256 --> 00:08:09,798 They're blocking the path To my dressing room 173 00:08:09,822 --> 00:08:12,832 Like angry villagers. 174 00:08:12,855 --> 00:08:14,813 - the director's smiling And waving you over. 175 00:08:14,835 --> 00:08:16,376 - of course he is. This is hollywood. 176 00:08:16,399 --> 00:08:17,334 You know, Two air kisses 177 00:08:17,357 --> 00:08:18,516 Before they stab you In the back 178 00:08:18,539 --> 00:08:20,912 And gloat Over your carcass. 179 00:08:20,934 --> 00:08:23,466 - speaking of bloody carcasses, I believe I owe 180 00:08:23,489 --> 00:08:26,084 My new ex-boyfriend Michael knight a visit. 181 00:08:26,107 --> 00:08:31,257 Hmm, I wonder if this works On more than just bagels? 182 00:08:31,280 --> 00:08:32,822 - victoria, a word. 183 00:08:32,844 --> 00:08:34,291 - listen, Before you say anything... 184 00:08:34,314 --> 00:08:36,207 - we want you to do Your original speech. 185 00:08:36,230 --> 00:08:38,634 - pardon? - the hospital called. 186 00:08:38,657 --> 00:08:41,093 Susan's fine, but she just Needs some time to recuperate. 187 00:08:41,115 --> 00:08:43,424 - could you repeat That first part, again? 188 00:08:43,447 --> 00:08:44,509 - susan is fine. 189 00:08:44,532 --> 00:08:46,968 - no, no, no, The part about my speech. 190 00:08:46,991 --> 00:08:48,852 Am I really Getting it back? 191 00:08:48,875 --> 00:08:50,225 - yes. 192 00:08:50,249 --> 00:08:51,918 We want you to deliver it To a photograph of susan. 193 00:08:51,941 --> 00:08:53,195 Now, of course, If you're not comfortable 194 00:08:53,218 --> 00:08:54,313 Doing the scene Without her, 195 00:08:54,336 --> 00:08:55,653 We can always... - oh, no, no, no. 196 00:08:55,676 --> 00:08:58,783 As much as it pains me to Perform the entire scene alone... 197 00:08:58,806 --> 00:09:00,443 No head bandages, right? 198 00:09:00,466 --> 00:09:01,466 - right. 199 00:09:01,488 --> 00:09:03,830 - to do the whole scene Entirely alone, 200 00:09:03,853 --> 00:09:05,329 I know that if susan Were standing here, 201 00:09:05,352 --> 00:09:07,629 She'd be looking way, Way up at the rest of us, 202 00:09:07,652 --> 00:09:12,131 Saying, "Oh, victoria, Please, do this for me." 203 00:09:12,155 --> 00:09:14,208 Tissue. 204 00:09:14,230 --> 00:09:15,378 Water. 205 00:09:17,807 --> 00:09:19,465 Sandwich. 206 00:09:23,140 --> 00:09:26,650 - that's how susan keeps warm Between takes. 207 00:09:30,771 --> 00:09:32,919 And, action. 208 00:09:32,942 --> 00:09:34,612 Oh, erica. 209 00:09:34,635 --> 00:09:37,965 I know you can't hear me, But wherever you are, 210 00:09:37,988 --> 00:09:40,168 I pray that you know That I know, 211 00:09:40,191 --> 00:09:42,211 That you wish you had Been there to warn me 212 00:09:42,234 --> 00:09:46,160 That liza had sabotaged That stairway. 213 00:09:53,539 --> 00:09:54,538 Thank you, Thank you, 214 00:09:54,561 --> 00:09:57,189 But I was merely Taking a dramatic pause. 215 00:09:57,212 --> 00:10:00,030 Please hold your applause Until I have completed... 216 00:10:00,053 --> 00:10:02,712 The scene. 217 00:10:02,736 --> 00:10:04,820 - I believe They were clapping for me. 218 00:10:04,843 --> 00:10:07,055 - oh, hell. 219 00:10:07,078 --> 00:10:08,238 Susan! 220 00:10:08,261 --> 00:10:09,610 - this is amazing. 221 00:10:09,633 --> 00:10:11,399 We thought you were Taking some time off. 222 00:10:11,421 --> 00:10:12,995 - and let poor victoria Stumble through the scene 223 00:10:13,018 --> 00:10:14,336 All alone? 224 00:10:14,359 --> 00:10:18,904 What kind of a friend And younger mentor would I be? 225 00:10:18,926 --> 00:10:20,883 - but surely After your long coma, 226 00:10:20,906 --> 00:10:22,639 You could use A little rest. 227 00:10:22,662 --> 00:10:23,980 - on the contrary. 228 00:10:24,003 --> 00:10:27,620 In spite of my alleged "Accident," I feel fine. 229 00:10:27,643 --> 00:10:31,261 So... Should we shoot the scene The way we rehearsed it? 230 00:10:31,284 --> 00:10:32,730 - oh, what a trooper! 231 00:10:32,753 --> 00:10:35,220 What do you say, victoria? Hmm? 232 00:10:35,243 --> 00:10:37,871 - I'm speechless. 233 00:10:37,894 --> 00:10:40,542 - you are now. 234 00:10:42,397 --> 00:10:45,503 - where exactly does it say "Ferrari" on the jacket? 235 00:10:45,526 --> 00:10:47,961 Uh? Front and back? 236 00:10:47,984 --> 00:10:49,016 I'll take it. 237 00:10:49,038 --> 00:10:51,506 Oh, I gotta go. 238 00:10:51,529 --> 00:10:52,495 And... 239 00:10:52,518 --> 00:10:54,668 ciao! 240 00:10:54,691 --> 00:10:56,445 Come in. 241 00:10:58,842 --> 00:11:00,000 - hello, michael. 242 00:11:00,023 --> 00:11:01,373 - hello, gorgeous. 243 00:11:01,396 --> 00:11:05,780 Listen. I, um, I got a love scene coming up. 244 00:11:05,803 --> 00:11:07,121 Want to help me rehearse? 245 00:11:07,144 --> 00:11:10,954 - I would, but something awful's Just happened. 246 00:11:10,977 --> 00:11:15,328 - I know. Lucci is back. 247 00:11:15,351 --> 00:11:19,033 But, face it, There's no show without her. 248 00:11:19,056 --> 00:11:20,309 - it's not that. 249 00:11:20,333 --> 00:11:22,003 Just now, When I was in the parking lot, 250 00:11:22,026 --> 00:11:24,173 Admiring your brand-new Ferrari... 251 00:11:24,196 --> 00:11:25,930 I ran into alex! 252 00:11:25,954 --> 00:11:28,517 - what? 253 00:11:28,540 --> 00:11:30,018 - your evil twin. 254 00:11:30,041 --> 00:11:31,646 And when I told him You and I were together, 255 00:11:31,670 --> 00:11:33,339 He flew into A jealous rage 256 00:11:33,361 --> 00:11:37,511 And started attacking your Gorgeous new car with a crowbar. 257 00:11:39,141 --> 00:11:40,492 - what are you Talking about? 258 00:11:40,514 --> 00:11:41,832 - oh, it was horrible. 259 00:11:41,855 --> 00:11:44,355 He shattered the windshield, He slashed the tires, 260 00:11:44,378 --> 00:11:48,602 He even ripped that cute little Prancing horse off the hood. 261 00:11:48,625 --> 00:11:50,359 - I don't have An evil twin! 262 00:11:50,382 --> 00:11:52,412 - and now, you don't have A ferrari, either. 263 00:12:01,910 --> 00:12:04,185 - why did we always let Petty jealousy 264 00:12:04,208 --> 00:12:06,995 Blind us to what's Really important? 265 00:12:07,019 --> 00:12:09,103 If the heavens can hold 266 00:12:09,126 --> 00:12:12,968 A thousand brilliant stars, 267 00:12:12,990 --> 00:12:18,491 Surely there's room enough For both our lights to shine. 268 00:12:18,514 --> 00:12:21,685 If only I had Realized this sooner, 269 00:12:21,708 --> 00:12:25,293 Perhaps I wouldn't have made An enemy out of someone 270 00:12:25,316 --> 00:12:29,860 Who might otherwise have been A dear, dear friend. 271 00:12:29,883 --> 00:12:32,000 Cut. 272 00:12:35,120 --> 00:12:36,917 Susan, that was fantastic. 273 00:12:36,940 --> 00:12:39,248 Those last lines... They weren't even in the script! 274 00:12:39,272 --> 00:12:40,366 - I know. 275 00:12:40,389 --> 00:12:43,080 But just lying In my hospital bed today, 276 00:12:43,104 --> 00:12:44,901 They just came to me. 277 00:12:44,924 --> 00:12:46,400 - "Lying" all right. 278 00:12:46,423 --> 00:12:47,742 - writing and acting. 279 00:12:47,765 --> 00:12:50,138 Is there anything This one cannot do, hmm? 280 00:12:55,907 --> 00:12:59,270 - to be honest, I owe it all to victoria. 281 00:12:59,294 --> 00:13:02,048 - well, thank you, susan. 282 00:13:02,071 --> 00:13:04,570 - her portrayal Of a lifeless vegetable 283 00:13:04,594 --> 00:13:08,595 Was just so convincing That it made my job effortless. 284 00:13:14,430 --> 00:13:15,907 - oh, robert. 285 00:13:15,929 --> 00:13:20,473 I can't believe You feel the same way too. 286 00:13:20,496 --> 00:13:22,965 - really? 287 00:13:22,988 --> 00:13:24,433 You honestly think Robert redford's 288 00:13:24,456 --> 00:13:26,445 Going to look across This imaginary ocean 289 00:13:26,467 --> 00:13:27,626 And ask you To marry him? 290 00:13:27,649 --> 00:13:31,458 - he's been doing it In my head for 30 years. 291 00:13:31,481 --> 00:13:34,205 - elka! 292 00:13:34,227 --> 00:13:38,611 - the servants should be seen And not heard. 293 00:13:38,634 --> 00:13:41,102 - okay, remember, we are Going to cgi in 294 00:13:41,125 --> 00:13:42,699 The storm And the ocean. 295 00:13:42,722 --> 00:13:45,285 But we need you to pretend To be freezing, 296 00:13:45,308 --> 00:13:48,224 And you are desperate To be rescued, all right? 297 00:13:48,247 --> 00:13:49,660 Okay, We're ready to shoot. 298 00:13:49,683 --> 00:13:52,725 - oh, but robert redford Isn't here yet. 299 00:13:52,749 --> 00:13:55,983 - lady, This is second unit. 300 00:13:56,006 --> 00:13:58,377 - what does that mean? 301 00:13:58,401 --> 00:14:01,476 - it means there are no stars In this scene. 302 00:14:01,498 --> 00:14:03,456 So this has just been A big old waste of time. 303 00:14:03,479 --> 00:14:05,658 And, elka, these things Are really itchy. 304 00:14:05,681 --> 00:14:07,670 I can't stand it. Maybe we should just go. 305 00:14:07,693 --> 00:14:11,565 - no, he'll see me In editing. 306 00:14:11,588 --> 00:14:15,685 And he'll say, "Who is that beautiful extra?" 307 00:14:15,708 --> 00:14:18,112 And he'll track me down... 308 00:14:18,135 --> 00:14:20,795 - that's ridiculous, I'm starting to get hives. 309 00:14:20,818 --> 00:14:22,264 Can we just please go? 310 00:14:23,245 --> 00:14:25,999 Oh, all right! 311 00:14:26,023 --> 00:14:29,577 Maybe I'll get A solitary cell. 312 00:14:29,600 --> 00:14:32,673 Less likely To get shanked. 313 00:14:32,697 --> 00:14:34,047 - fine. Hey, you know what? 314 00:14:34,070 --> 00:14:35,165 On the bright side, 315 00:14:35,187 --> 00:14:36,634 I get to be in a robert redford Movie, right? 316 00:14:36,657 --> 00:14:38,550 - and action! Cue the waves. 317 00:14:38,573 --> 00:14:40,263 - waves? 318 00:14:42,915 --> 00:14:44,298 - now, remember, It's freezing. 319 00:14:44,321 --> 00:14:46,629 You're terrified. Oh, here comes another one. 320 00:14:46,652 --> 00:14:48,704 - what? 321 00:14:48,727 --> 00:14:50,460 - all right, now, Over your shoulder... 322 00:14:50,483 --> 00:14:52,695 Oh, god, here comes The biggest one yet. 323 00:14:52,719 --> 00:14:54,260 - noooo! 324 00:15:02,842 --> 00:15:04,831 - I can't get the water Out of my... 325 00:15:04,854 --> 00:15:07,098 Oh, there we go. 326 00:15:07,121 --> 00:15:09,014 - maybe I'm just not meant For romance. 327 00:15:09,037 --> 00:15:11,472 Maybe I'm missing A chip or something. 328 00:15:11,494 --> 00:15:12,749 - oh, sweetie, It's not your fault. 329 00:15:12,772 --> 00:15:14,411 I mean, it could have Happened to anybody. 330 00:15:14,434 --> 00:15:17,560 - a one-night stand With the same man twice? 331 00:15:19,542 --> 00:15:21,627 How could I be so stupid? 332 00:15:21,651 --> 00:15:23,767 - well, to be fair, He is a professional actor, 333 00:15:23,789 --> 00:15:26,864 And he had you convinced That he was his own evil twin. 334 00:15:29,921 --> 00:15:32,707 - oh, my god! - I know, I know. 335 00:15:32,731 --> 00:15:34,654 How many times have we Sat around this table 336 00:15:34,678 --> 00:15:37,179 Hashing over Your bad boyfriends? 337 00:15:37,201 --> 00:15:38,264 Eric, the bigamist, 338 00:15:38,287 --> 00:15:40,244 Donald With the ant farm. 339 00:15:40,267 --> 00:15:41,393 - pre-op andy... 340 00:15:41,416 --> 00:15:44,543 Who turned into awkward First-date andrea. 341 00:15:46,557 --> 00:15:48,514 - I need coffee. 342 00:15:48,537 --> 00:15:50,142 I had lucci nightmares All night. 343 00:15:50,165 --> 00:15:51,644 I can still feel That little muppet hand 344 00:15:51,667 --> 00:15:54,102 On my mouth. 345 00:15:54,126 --> 00:15:56,689 - well, Joy has good news for you. 346 00:15:56,712 --> 00:15:57,776 - I called All my children 347 00:15:57,799 --> 00:15:59,340 And threatened A sexual harassment suit 348 00:15:59,363 --> 00:16:01,096 Against a certain actor 349 00:16:01,119 --> 00:16:02,437 Unless they killed The hospital scene 350 00:16:02,460 --> 00:16:04,034 And wrote you a new part. 351 00:16:04,057 --> 00:16:05,854 They're flying you out again Next week. 352 00:16:05,877 --> 00:16:08,504 - oh, joy, thank you! 353 00:16:08,527 --> 00:16:11,378 The fact that you would do Something so conniving for me... 354 00:16:11,401 --> 00:16:15,115 Well... You're a true friend. 355 00:16:15,138 --> 00:16:16,712 So what kind of part is it? 356 00:16:16,734 --> 00:16:17,924 - one with hair. 357 00:16:17,947 --> 00:16:19,649 And they promised me It would be juicy. 358 00:16:19,671 --> 00:16:21,118 - oh, well. If it's half as juicy 359 00:16:21,141 --> 00:16:23,640 As the strawberry I squeezed Into susan's moisturizer 360 00:16:23,664 --> 00:16:26,419 Before I left... 361 00:16:26,442 --> 00:16:28,303 I'm going to be thrilled. 362 00:16:28,326 --> 00:16:30,666 Mel, honey, Is there something wrong? 363 00:16:30,689 --> 00:16:33,380 - she's still upset About selling her furniture. 364 00:16:33,403 --> 00:16:35,392 - no, no, I've resigned myself To the furniture. 365 00:16:35,415 --> 00:16:38,394 I just... 366 00:16:38,417 --> 00:16:40,437 Now I'm just sorry I sold the house. 367 00:16:40,460 --> 00:16:42,768 - ohh, sweetie. 368 00:16:42,791 --> 00:16:44,749 It's going to be okay. 369 00:16:44,771 --> 00:16:46,441 - it's a good thing. It's what you wanted. 370 00:16:46,464 --> 00:16:47,782 - I know. 371 00:16:47,804 --> 00:16:49,378 I know, but when I look out these windows, 372 00:16:49,401 --> 00:16:53,689 I can still see my kids Playing in the yard. 373 00:16:53,712 --> 00:16:55,957 No other windows Can do that for me. 374 00:16:55,980 --> 00:16:57,267 And this doorjamb, 375 00:16:57,290 --> 00:17:00,332 This is where I measured The kids' height. 376 00:17:00,354 --> 00:17:02,471 Look, this is how tall Jenna was 377 00:17:02,494 --> 00:17:04,354 When we made christmas cookies For the very first time 378 00:17:04,377 --> 00:17:05,312 And she dropped the bowl. 379 00:17:05,335 --> 00:17:06,687 Right there... 380 00:17:06,709 --> 00:17:10,294 See? There's this Little crack in the... 381 00:17:10,318 --> 00:17:12,657 How am I going to say good-bye To that crack? 382 00:17:12,681 --> 00:17:14,189 - I don't know, But you better make it quick. 383 00:17:14,213 --> 00:17:16,351 Our flight's at noon. 384 00:17:18,045 --> 00:17:20,513 - no, no, our flight's Not till 5:00. 385 00:17:20,536 --> 00:17:22,556 - oh, I got a tweet From kimmel. 386 00:17:22,579 --> 00:17:24,568 Robert redford's leaving For salt lake city, 387 00:17:24,591 --> 00:17:26,900 And I re-booked us On his flight. 388 00:17:26,923 --> 00:17:29,955 - we're going to kansas? 389 00:17:32,255 --> 00:17:33,319 - utah. 390 00:17:33,342 --> 00:17:36,277 - I defy anyone to tell me The difference. 391 00:17:38,099 --> 00:17:40,886 - it's just A five-hour layover. 392 00:17:40,909 --> 00:17:44,175 Oh, please. 393 00:17:44,198 --> 00:17:46,251 - spare us the dimples. 394 00:17:46,274 --> 00:17:49,285 - you have no power over us, Old woman. 395 00:17:49,308 --> 00:17:50,338 - oh, I don't care anymore. 396 00:17:50,361 --> 00:17:54,106 I'm so miserable I just want to go home. 397 00:17:54,130 --> 00:17:58,067 Oh, my gosh! I just said I want to go home. 398 00:17:58,089 --> 00:18:01,164 - yes, honey, We were here. 399 00:18:01,187 --> 00:18:05,027 - no! When I said "Home," I meant cleveland. 400 00:18:05,050 --> 00:18:07,008 - I know, it's weird, Isn't it? 401 00:18:07,031 --> 00:18:09,211 I've been thinking of cleveland As home too. 402 00:18:09,234 --> 00:18:10,617 - me too. 403 00:18:10,639 --> 00:18:11,894 Only I wish we could Get there nonstop. 404 00:18:11,917 --> 00:18:14,320 We are at least Flying first class? 405 00:18:14,343 --> 00:18:16,416 - one of us is. 406 00:18:18,941 --> 00:18:20,196 - I don't know. 407 00:18:20,219 --> 00:18:22,719 You know, I'm single now, The kids are grown, 408 00:18:22,741 --> 00:18:25,912 And a house really isn't a home Without people in it. 409 00:18:25,935 --> 00:18:28,913 Wherever you guys are... That's home to me. 410 00:18:28,936 --> 00:18:31,628 - good, Then shake a leg. 411 00:18:31,651 --> 00:18:33,958 You know how long Security takes, 412 00:18:33,981 --> 00:18:36,853 And I always get profiled. 413 00:18:39,347 --> 00:18:41,495 - you guys go ahead. 414 00:18:41,518 --> 00:18:44,177 I just need to do One thing. 415 00:18:49,724 --> 00:18:51,032 Now it's home.